Perhaps it's the memory from my childhood, how when coasting downhill on my bike I slammed headfirst into a brick wall. Granted, closing my eyes wasn't the best idea. But ever since, I've been a little anxious about relaxing into an experience.
So here I am, on the NaNoWriMo downhill . . . and it's been such a sweet ride. I've learned, and fretted, and pushed through, and stirred up stuff that I never could have imagined being part of the richness of writing what may very well be a very bad mystery novel (or a very good first draft). But I've also indulged myself in moments of hope and pleasure and even very tiny ones of trust in myself as an artist. It's been a ride like I never could have imagined. I don't want it to end. Even more, I don't want it to end on an unforgiving brick wall. So I need to remember the hard-earned lesson from way back then (the one learned after the face full of scabs--the envy of all my classmates--healed). That with eyes open, you can steer clear of the wall, and then ride back to the top and do it all over again!
coasting...see, now that might have been the problem...maybe you should have been peddling like hell and then you could have JUMPED that freakin' wall...boy, you really would have impressed those kids then, eh? ;)
ReplyDeletecongrats on nearing the end of this journey, and whatever journey you had during the journey! truly, that's a lot of writing...and regardless of good draft or terrible novel, i'm impressed with you just doing it.
i salute you.
to pen my awe would require ink, not digital text. I am so inspired and so grateful for your perserverance. That, I believe, is the path to good work. U r on it. Relish in it. And know that I am with you, even when it seems not so. I cannot wait to read the work. I love u xoxo
ReplyDelete